
Textbook rash with a ponytail, by Ben Sanders
Four days ago, a textbook case of pityriasis rosea walked into my room. Well, technically it was the girl who walk in…the rash was just a hanger-on. But to me, the rash was everything.
The more I looked, the more textbook it became. It was as if a Murtagh’s patient education handout had grown legs and a ponytail.
The lesions weren’t just red—they were salmon-pink. Salmon-pink, I tell you.
If an Atlantic salmon had leapt into her T-shirt and flopped around in a “Christmas tree” pattern for a few minutes before being sustainably released back into the ocean, those lesions could not have looked more classic.
“And I don’t suppose that oval patch on her back appeared 7-14 days ago did it, Dad? Goodness, see how the scales attach to the outer border of this herald patch like a collaret? Your daughter has become a thing of rare beauty Mr Smith! A textbook case.”
Note to self: it is more exciting to diagnose a textbook case than to father one. Beauty, as it turns out, is only skin deep.
Addendum: the modern man neither knows nor cares what a collaret is, which is somewhat of a shame. The dapper legacy of the early dermatologists has been supplanted by the drab business tie.
Back to textbook cases, however. Have you noticed how few there are about, these days?
Not just rashes, but all the classics seem to present rather half-heartedly. Continue reading