Tag Archives: humour

When a GP goes to his GP

I went to my GP this year. Apparently patients do that sort of thing all the time, but it felt odd, giving over the swivel chair. I hadn’t realised the degree of power inferred by a collared shirt and castor … Continue reading

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Winter; discontent; you know the drill.

Winter is coming As any Game of Thrones character will tell you – and most eventually do – winter is coming. In the land of general practice, a long way from the nearest fur-coated dwarf or icicled king, we instead … Continue reading

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Weird diagnoses your doctor can select, but probably shouldn’t

Has your doctor has ever diagnosed you with Hair in the Urine or Donald Duck Speech? I’m a doctor and have no idea how to treat either condition. My wild guess might be a sieve and a good gargle—in that … Continue reading

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Small things I don’t understand

Last month’s column was ‘Dealing with uncertainty’, and I haven’t got any better at it, so figured I’d stick to the theme. Might even make it a series. This month’s uncertainty involved a haematologist—I’ve never actually met one, but that … Continue reading

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Uncertain dealings

My GP registrar’s body language suggested the tute was going poorly, although I blamed the topic: ‘Dealing with uncertainty’. In retrospect, I could have stuck to medical examples, instead of opening with Gandalf’s dilemma about when best to attack Sauron. … Continue reading

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Bowel charts – the work of the devil

Bowel charts are a thing of the devil. I hate even mentioning them. In fact, I won’t; let’s talk about blood glucose diaries instead.   A bunch of folk just like me, but sweeter, fill in a smattering of glucose … Continue reading

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My performance-enhanced brain

Most conference presentations wash over my spongiform brain and swish straight down the drain. But one presentation at last month’s Australasian Medical Writers Association conference (forgive the plug) stuck in my mind, almost as if something had sealed up my … Continue reading

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Sickies

The delightful Aussie colloquialism ‘sickie’ can describe both the person who is sick, and the time taken off work to allow said sickness to flourish to its full potential. Unfathomably, many employers still require a certificate even for one or … Continue reading

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Health consumers

To consume (v) I have always thought negatively of the word consume. I blame the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), whose first two definitions are; destroy or expend and; spend wastefully. The OED knows both interpretations all too well – no … Continue reading

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The waiting game

Fifteen years ago I wrote an article about the waiting room at the Geelong Hospital Emergency Department, noting that a higher proportion of Geelong residents visited it than any other small room in that entire city. Back then it was … Continue reading

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